There were two particularly good "Now More Than Ever" sightings in the past couple of days that I wanted to share with you.
The first one is a commercial for this weekend's NASCAR race at Talladega that has been running in Atlanta for the past two weeks telling us that now more than ever we need Talladega. I would argue that with the whole dependence on foreign oil thing, now could not be a worse time to capriciously burn 4,300 gallons of gas to watch cars drive in circles for a few hours, but who am I to judge?*
The second sighting comes from reader Mary Soeder who noticed that Vh1 thought that now more than ever is a good time to bring back the venerable 'Divas Live'** franchise. When I first heard this I assumed that Vh1 was using the phrase tongue in cheek as the network is generally pretty good at poking fun at itself and other various ridiculous cultural phenomena. Turns out the phrase was used completely earnestly. From Lee Rolontz, executive producer for Vh1 Divas:
"Over the years, we've received constant calls and emails asking us to bring back our Divas show. Now more than ever, the time feels right to re-launch this beloved show as a new generation of talented female artists has come to the forefront of music."Well done, Rolontz. Speaking of things that you would assume are not supposed to be taken seriously but are in fact presented earnestly and are thus completely ridiculous:
Faith was a vampire, Diana was Grimace, and Mariah was a slut. It was the best Halloween ever!
I took the liberty of checking out the Vh1 Divas wikipedia page to relive some of the past performances and it was quite a walk down memory lane. Here is a list of all of the male performers to ever grace a the Divas stage:
- Elton John
- RuPaul
- Treach from Naughty by Nature
- The Backstreet Boys
- Marc Anthony
- Kid Rock
- Stevie Wonder
- The Isley Brothers
- Bobby Brown
- Tom Jones
Now THAT is a list. Somebody needs to put all of them in a house with 18 cases of tequila and film it for a reality show. Two days in, Elton John would be like, "Fuck it, I'm leaving, this is too gay for me."*** Also, Treach? Really? He must've been drunk in New York one weekend and then somehow wandered onto the stage and figured since he was there he might as well break off a few bars of O.P.P. The first line of Treach's wikipedia page: "For an excavation or depression in the ground, see Trench."
If you see any more funny/inappropriate uses of the phrase "Now, More than Ever," please email them to cjfarris@gmail.com or post them in the comments.
* * *
*For the record, I am pro NASCAR and enjoy watching races (but only in person). According to my extremely brief Internet research, St. Louis (the 13th largest city in the US) burns 15 times the amount of gas in one day that NASCAR's Sprint Cup uses in an entire season. So, fuck you St. Louis.
**Or, as it is more commonly known, 'The Gay Superbowl'
***My apologies to Stevie Wonder for this joke. I'm sorry you had to be lumped in with all of that.
0 comments:
Post a Comment